I have a goal and I’m working towards it! Motivation is truly a wonderful thing. It’s helped me conquer so many things in my life; but there comes a time when motivation just doesn’t cut it. Let’s face it, we as humans get derailed over the smallest things.
Coming off a week of travel and jumping back into “real” life is always hard for me (drowning comes to mind). Between time zone changes and getting back into the swing of school, I was whipped.
Motivation was definitely lacking and discouragement and exhaustion were my constant companions.
On our flight home my legs swelled quite badly(oh, how I hate the tree trunks😭). I think all of the driving and salty snacks finally caught up with me. My skinny ankles disappeared for days and I felt like I was sinking back into my “old” life.
I was eating approved foods, but I was extra hungry and getting back to normal meal times and tracking my food, just wasn’t happening.
My tree trunks really sent me into a spiral.(Pass me the cookie dough, please🍪) Wednesday I was extra teary eyed and just wanted to binge. I ended up snacking more than usual and overate when I had my pizza toppings. It wasn’t a total failure of a day, but man, I wish it would just disappear.
Thursday was my one month Ketoversary and I was hoping to see more progress. I know that seems silly, since one month into this process isn’t far at all, but I want to look and feel better.
My one month reward was going to be a new pair of jeans, but I just wasn’t small enough to squeeze into the next size down. I weighed one pound more than I did 2 weeks ago, and the knowledge that it was water weight, wasn’t very helpful.
Thankfully, a fellow keto-ite on Instagram reminded me that motivation isn’t always enough. Sometimes we just have to stay faithful and keep putting one foot in front of the other. My motivation hasn’t disappeared, it just wasn’t enough to keep me going this week.
This week it was all about having grit and being consistent; making choices I knew were the right ones even when I just wanted to give up.
Giving grace to myself has never been one of my strong suites. I’m a first born, rule following, perfectionist, and I want to do things the right way the first time.
Growing in grace for myself and others has been a huge learning curve. One big thing has been to analyze the situation I’m in and instead of just seeing how I failed, learn from my experience and move on.
Growing pains are not usually enjoyable, but there’s a gratefulness that comes when you see yourself growing and changing.
My current jeans are saggin’ and baggin’, so I know things are happening. My desire to binge has gotten better, and I love the fact that I can examine my situation and make better choices.
My vision is slowly turning from the micro to the macro. This week the here and now was disappointing, but as I look into the future, I see a me that’s healthy, has self-control, feels good, and lives a life free of binging.
I can’t let my feelings this week distract me from the hope and truth of the future.
(The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly will be back next week. This week my brain can’t work that hard. Lol)
You can find me on Instagram @amberlivesketo https://www.instagram.com/p/CNRNHhMAI_w/?igshid=1mlrczwrmhrpt
Ravings of a Bacon Starved Mind 