Unexpected Homeschooling

Homeschooling has become an everyday word these days. With the COVID-19 pandemic causing school closures, parents have been thrown into a world that has been my life for the last ten years. I am often asked how I homeschool, especially with so many children. I have often said that if I had only had two kids, I would have been a failure at homeschooling. I have messed up more times than I can , changed curricula many times over, cried over my inadequacies, and felt like pulling out my hair.

I can identify with those of you who feel like you just aren’t up for the task. The wonderful thing is you don’t need to be adequate according to the world’s standards. You have been teaching your children since they were born. When they were little, you rejoiced over all of the little things they learned. Many of those things they learned from you.

When I officially started home educating, just over ten years ago, I was excited and terrified. The thought of teaching my kids was exciting, but the thought of teaching my son to read was overwhelming for me. He just didn’t get it, and I felt such guilt for not being able to teach him to read. I was exhausted, had a newborn, and was busy keeping up with my five littles. Truthfully, the thought of failure overwhelmed me. (No worries, he did learn to read:-))

You see, I forgot to take a couple of things into account. The first is that children are natural learners. My son had been learning since the day he was born, and it wasn’t until he started “school” that I felt pressure about his education. I mistakenly thought that his education depended solely on me. All I really needed to be was a guide. Unfortunately, it took me many years to relax and understand this. Sometimes I still have to remind myself of this.

The second is that I failed to realize that all of these “standards” that the academic community has put on us are unrealistic and overbearing. There is not one child who is the same as another child. One of the fantastic things about children is that they are so different from each other. It is astounding to think of all of the different personalities and what they will accomplish in life. It’s okay if your child is not at the “right” level. Sometimes your child may be a bit slower at learning something or a bit faster. That is one of the wonderful things about home educating. If I needed to take some extra time to really help one of my children understand a subject, then I could do that. If I have a child that is just absorbing everything quickly, they can move ahead.

The third may seem weird. I was so afraid that I would fail or that my child would not learn, that I oversimplified things. I didn’t give my children enough challenges. I have come to see that when I give my children a challenge in almost any subject, they will rise to the occasion. Their creativity is so much fun to watch.

I have tried more schedules than I can count. I have finally found that a loose order to the day works best for us. The older kids do their independent work while I help the littles. We do our group study and learn together when I am ready. I have seven students at home currently. Between chores, meals, and playtime, I have found that getting the majority of school done by lunchtime helps us. I am not a morning person, and we don’t start super early. If we start around 8:30 am, then we can get the majority done by lunch.

I don’t have a degree. I have never taught in an official school. I don’t even understand all of the Algebra that my oldest child is learning. One of the most enjoyable things has been learning alongside my children. I had to relearn long division (math was not my strong subject). I have had to challenge myself to find more efficient ways to teach reading and phonics. I get to learn history (my favorite subject) alongside my kids. We discuss everything, and it’s a joy to see their eyes light up when they connect the dots of history and current events. We talk about politics and study the Bible together.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s hard. Being around the same group of children 24/7 is hard in itself. When you add the task of being teacher (correcting and instructing school work), parent (encourager, cheerleader, and disciplinarian), it is, oh, so, very hard.

Many of you have never had the desire to teach your kids at home. You have work and other responsibilities. It’s hard not having kid-free time. We are only human. There will be fights and arguments and most likely tears on the part of the parent and child. That doesn’t mean that this is a bad thing. You have a rare opportunity to get an in-depth view of how your children learn and to learn alongside them.

You don’t have to do homeschool like the private or public school would. It’s okay to do it your way, with a twist that works for you. Have fun with it. Feel free to ditch the busy work and add something that your child would love to learn or something that you want to learn with them.

Please don’t worry about learning gaps. We have all had learning gaps, even those of us who have gone to private/public school. We have learning gaps as adults. Make learning a lifestyle. If we can enjoy learning then we will never stop.

My husband loves learning. He is always watching something new on YouTube or asking people who have a skill that he desires if he can tag along and learn. If some obstacle stands in his way, he doesn’t let it stop him. He reads and asks and watches until he can get the project done. He lives a lifestyle of learning. He challenges me by how he lives. I look at a project and feel defeated. Learning can be hard. I’ve had to challenge myself to learn new things even if they are hard for me. It is so refreshing.

Let’s not get overwhelmed, but take a step back, look at what is really important, and take advantage of this enforced home education period. You can do this, don’t believe the lie that you are unqualified or it’s just too hard. Start small; learn a new routine. Learn something new about yourself. It’s amazing what you learn about yourself when you are teaching your children.

This is a difficult time. There is no making light of this pandemic or sheltering-in-place order.Here is an opportunity you may never get again. Love on those babies of yours (even the big, grumpy teenage ones) and learn alongside them. You won’t regret it.