Low-Carb, Do I Have To?

About 5 years ago, when my 9th child was just over a year old, my body went crazy. I didn’t lose control of my movements, but my body started acting all whacked out. I gained 20 lbs in less than a month, I became pre-diabetic, and my hormones were torturous. I mean my cycles were all over the place, from skipping periods to spotting for 45 day straight! To top it off I felt like I was pregnant much of the time and I definetly wasn’t. This is where it all began.

I was homeschooling my 5 older children and had 4 littles, 4 years old and under. I felt incredibly stressed and discouraged. I joined a gym and got a personal trainer. I was getting stronger, but my issues persisted. Even though I was going to the gym 3-5 times a week my stomach got bigger!! I started seeing all kinds of doctors and had more medical tests than I could keep track of. Still there was no answer to my body’s rebellion.

When my son was almost 2 years old I decided that I desperately wanted to have one more baby (no, I wasn’t out of my mind!) I have always been a fertile woman. I gave birth to 9 children and had 3 miscarriages all in 11 1/2 years. Now it seemed my fertility had just disappeared at the age of 34.

I was not premenopausal, but we did discover that I had NASH (Non-alcoholic Steatohepatitis.) I had Fatty Liver Disease and that scared me. At about the same time I finally went to see a gynecologist. I told her all of my weird hormone issues and she looked at me and said, “I know what’s wrong with you.” I really couldn’t believe it. After a year and a half this lady knew what was wrong with me that easily?

After her own journey with infertility, that included fertility drugs and invitro, she had finally discovered that her problem was insulin resistance. Apparently, insulin resistance occurs when your liver cannot process insulin effectively ( hello, Fatty Liver Disease.) I only had pre-diabetes, but my fatty liver had caused insulin resistance and PCOS. (Fatty liver is very common in the US, I just had a more severe type.) That’s right, folks, after being Mrs. Fertility herself, I developed Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrom, because of my fatty liver.

“So, what is the solution?” I asked her. “You need to go low-carb,” she answered matter-of-factly. Oh, those dreaded words. She wanted me to give up my popcorn, my rustic bread, my potatoes, my love of pasta, Twinkies, Coke, pizza crust, you get the idea. She wanted me to turn my life upside down, food wise. No way, there had to be another way.

That was August 2017. I was 35 years old. Fast forward to October and my husband surprised me with the trip of a lifetime. He sent me to Boston all by myself (yay, for mom time!) I stayed in an Air B n B for the first time, rode public tansportation for the first time (yeah, I know I’m spoiled), and got to explore all of the beauty and history that Boston had to offer. It. Was. Amazing.

On that trip I realized how overweight and unhealthy I was. I knew that I wanted one more baby and I wanted to be healthy for my family. The only solution offered to me was a low-carb lifestyle. Self-control has never been my thing, but by the beginning of November I decided to give low-carb eating a whirl. I started reading The Obesity Code, by Dr. Jason Fung, and set my start date for 2 days after Thanksgiving.

I decided to go the extra step and start with the Keto way of eating. I was eating under 20 net carbs a day. The first week I felt like garbage. By week 3 I had lost 17 lbs. Approximately one month after starting Keto, on December 22, 2017, I took a pregnancy test. I had taken so many tests in the last 2 years and none of them had been positive. As I cautiously peeked at the test I stopped breathing…there were 2 lines!!

It may sound crazy, but I was terrified. I hadn’t expected my body to respond to Keto quite so quickly. My body had just started to heal and I had no idea how to proceed. I did some research and the reviews were mixed. Some medical professionals were totally on board with low-carb eating during pregnancy, while other were completely opposed. I did find several women who had eaten low-carb very successfully during pregnancy, so I decided to take that route and adjust if needed.

I ate keto 75% of my pregnancy. Even though my healthcare providers were skeptical, they were impressed with my blood sugar and weight management. I ate tons of food and at 38 weeks pregnant weighed less than when I had started. I felt beautiful and healthy at the end of this pregnancy.

On August 24, 2018 my beautiful Violet was born, weighing 5lbs 11oz. I had never had a small baby before (3 over 10 lbs, 4 in the 9 lb range, and 2 in the 8 lb range.) I ended up with a c-section. Little Miss decided to be breech and I had pre-eclampsia. Her birth was more complicated than expected, but this body that was in the process of healing gave birth to a beautiful baby girl – my Keto baby, #10.

My Keto baby is now a crazy 2 1/2 year old toddler tornado that keeps the 11 of us on our toes! She is such a gift!! Over the last 2 1/2 years I have had my ups and downs. Between pumping full-time, homeschooling, and the craziness of life, my low-carb commitment has fluctuated. Darn that self-control, anyway. When the pandemic hit I let the stress take over and willingly let myself get overwhelmed. I threw all of my hard work out the window.

I am ashamed to say that I gained back everything I lost, plus more. I made myself sick again. I made that choice. Life really is a journey. We don’t know what tomorrow will hold. I have come to the conclusion that my whole lifestyle has to change. I have to choose that for myself. I have eaten enough junk and carbs to last 3 lifetimes. I need to heal myself and be truly committed. I know the science; I know it works for my body. I know how I want my future to look.

2 1/2 weeks ago I went back Keto and I feel so much better. I reversed my pre-diabetes and Fatty Liver disease once before and now I need to do it one final time. On March 1, 2021 I am committing to 6 month strict Keto living – no days off, no meals off. I am working on my sleep, my fitness, and healing my brain as well as my body ( I am a binge eater.)

I hope you all will join me on this journey. I plan on posting several times a month, the good, the bad, and the ugly, as I walk this road. I am a real person, with real struggles, real hopes, and real fears. I hope that by being real with you, you might be encouraged to persevere in your own health journey.

So, to answer the question, yes, I have to eat low-carb. Low-carb living will always be my way of life and I hope that by committing to a very concentrated period of time, my body and mind will heal and adapt. I am done being sick and miserable. I am read to live healthy and free!

Taking a Step Back

I am a big believer in preaching to myself. Anyone who has had a couple of conversations with me will know that. I, like most of you, have found the year 2020 to hold more than its fair share of challenges. A lot of us are facing financial, health, social, and political struggles unlike anything we have faced before. Personally, our business is in danger (you really don’t want to be in the events business right now) and we are faced with daunting decisions about how to provide for our family. Riots are happening all over the United States and Christians across the country are split between obeying our government, and limiting Corporate Worship, or taking a stand and meeting together in the name of Jesus anyway.

Truth be told, it is just getting to be too much for me to handle. The last couple of days I have found myself withdrawing from the things around me. I am still functioning and dealing with the daily responsibilities, but I find my mind is trying to escape to the pleasant things of the past. The times when things were more peaceful or times when I was happy. The ocean is my happy place. In my mind I am at my favorite lighthouse gazing over the ocean and I breathe deeply as the wind blows in my face. As pleasant as those memories are; I can see myself going down a dangerous path. Living all up in my head is not where I need to be. Those memories are good and I delight in them, but I can’t live there. God wants us to live out our days clinging to Him and walking out our lives in His strength. Sometimes I cling to the wrong things.

Ps. 88:1-3 O LORD, God of my Salvation, I cry out day and night before you. Let my prayer come before you;incline your ear to my cry! For my soul is full of troubles…

It is time to take back control. My house is still undergoing construction projects, our source of income in the future is still up in the air, health trials abound, and I am truly grieving over how life has changed in the last 5 months, but I have come to the conclusion that it is time to take a step back. I feel the need to hide myself in the cleft of the rock, so to speak. My whole family is feeling the strain of life circumstances right now and it has resulted in fighting and unrest. When you multiply that x12 (people) it is very overwhelming.

Now comes the time when preaching to myself becomes so important. When I survey the situation, it is easy to want to hide and just ignore how the strain is affecting us all, but that isn’t the solution and I know that. Today I take an honest look and make a plan. When I feel myself mentally pulling away from “life” I know I need to take action.

I know that I cannot rely on my own strength. I simply don’t have it. I am so thankful that I can rest in Jesus.

Matt. 11:28 Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

I need His rest so desperately.

Ps. 27:7 The LORD is my strength and my shield; in Him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks.

In Him my heart trusts, and I am helped…sigh…I just want to breathe that in.

Isa. 12:2 Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust and will not be afraid; for the LORD GOD is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation.

God is my strength, my song, and my Salvation – I am holding onto that!

Getting deeply into the Word of God is something that I need to do consistently. Not just a quick scripture, but actually studying and soaking in the Word.

Now for the practical part. Anyone who has children knows a consistent flow to the day makes for more peaceful children. Unfortunately, the last 5 months have been filled with late nights, too much tv, crazy days, and sleeping in. It’s time to get this train back on the tracks and headed in the right direction. Part of taking a step back is not letting the chaos of life disrupt every part of life. In the next week we are moving back to consistent bed/wake-up times, more family reading and less tv. Life is too beautiful to live in an overwhelmed state. We don’t need more socialization, or parks, or summer activities. We need down time, time away from the negativity that abounds, time where we can be together as a family without worrying, planning for the future, or assessing all of the work that still needs to be done. We need to take a step back from the world and make a point of cultivating a peaceful house in the midst of the chaos.

Throughout history trials have been in abundance. Sin abounds in the world and there will never be true peace until we are with Jesus. This house, this family should be a place of peace and rest…a respite from the world. I have let worldly troubles take away my peace. Today, I stop living in my head. Today, I strive to cultivate that peaceful environment that we so desperately need (this will take a lot of work and consistency). The noise will still be here, the mess will always have to be cleaned, but a peaceful atmosphere is to be treasured. An atmosphere where Jesus abounds and we cheer each other on instead of tear each other down.

“There is a peace in rhythm. There is a security and predictability…Just enough to make us feel like everything is going to be okay.” – Unknown

Continue reading “Taking a Step Back”

Unexpected Homeschooling

Homeschooling has become an everyday word these days. With the COVID-19 pandemic causing school closures, parents have been thrown into a world that has been my life for the last ten years. I am often asked how I homeschool, especially with so many children. I have often said that if I had only had two kids, I would have been a failure at homeschooling. I have messed up more times than I can , changed curricula many times over, cried over my inadequacies, and felt like pulling out my hair.

I can identify with those of you who feel like you just aren’t up for the task. The wonderful thing is you don’t need to be adequate according to the world’s standards. You have been teaching your children since they were born. When they were little, you rejoiced over all of the little things they learned. Many of those things they learned from you.

When I officially started home educating, just over ten years ago, I was excited and terrified. The thought of teaching my kids was exciting, but the thought of teaching my son to read was overwhelming for me. He just didn’t get it, and I felt such guilt for not being able to teach him to read. I was exhausted, had a newborn, and was busy keeping up with my five littles. Truthfully, the thought of failure overwhelmed me. (No worries, he did learn to read:-))

You see, I forgot to take a couple of things into account. The first is that children are natural learners. My son had been learning since the day he was born, and it wasn’t until he started “school” that I felt pressure about his education. I mistakenly thought that his education depended solely on me. All I really needed to be was a guide. Unfortunately, it took me many years to relax and understand this. Sometimes I still have to remind myself of this.

The second is that I failed to realize that all of these “standards” that the academic community has put on us are unrealistic and overbearing. There is not one child who is the same as another child. One of the fantastic things about children is that they are so different from each other. It is astounding to think of all of the different personalities and what they will accomplish in life. It’s okay if your child is not at the “right” level. Sometimes your child may be a bit slower at learning something or a bit faster. That is one of the wonderful things about home educating. If I needed to take some extra time to really help one of my children understand a subject, then I could do that. If I have a child that is just absorbing everything quickly, they can move ahead.

The third may seem weird. I was so afraid that I would fail or that my child would not learn, that I oversimplified things. I didn’t give my children enough challenges. I have come to see that when I give my children a challenge in almost any subject, they will rise to the occasion. Their creativity is so much fun to watch.

I have tried more schedules than I can count. I have finally found that a loose order to the day works best for us. The older kids do their independent work while I help the littles. We do our group study and learn together when I am ready. I have seven students at home currently. Between chores, meals, and playtime, I have found that getting the majority of school done by lunchtime helps us. I am not a morning person, and we don’t start super early. If we start around 8:30 am, then we can get the majority done by lunch.

I don’t have a degree. I have never taught in an official school. I don’t even understand all of the Algebra that my oldest child is learning. One of the most enjoyable things has been learning alongside my children. I had to relearn long division (math was not my strong subject). I have had to challenge myself to find more efficient ways to teach reading and phonics. I get to learn history (my favorite subject) alongside my kids. We discuss everything, and it’s a joy to see their eyes light up when they connect the dots of history and current events. We talk about politics and study the Bible together.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s hard. Being around the same group of children 24/7 is hard in itself. When you add the task of being teacher (correcting and instructing school work), parent (encourager, cheerleader, and disciplinarian), it is, oh, so, very hard.

Many of you have never had the desire to teach your kids at home. You have work and other responsibilities. It’s hard not having kid-free time. We are only human. There will be fights and arguments and most likely tears on the part of the parent and child. That doesn’t mean that this is a bad thing. You have a rare opportunity to get an in-depth view of how your children learn and to learn alongside them.

You don’t have to do homeschool like the private or public school would. It’s okay to do it your way, with a twist that works for you. Have fun with it. Feel free to ditch the busy work and add something that your child would love to learn or something that you want to learn with them.

Please don’t worry about learning gaps. We have all had learning gaps, even those of us who have gone to private/public school. We have learning gaps as adults. Make learning a lifestyle. If we can enjoy learning then we will never stop.

My husband loves learning. He is always watching something new on YouTube or asking people who have a skill that he desires if he can tag along and learn. If some obstacle stands in his way, he doesn’t let it stop him. He reads and asks and watches until he can get the project done. He lives a lifestyle of learning. He challenges me by how he lives. I look at a project and feel defeated. Learning can be hard. I’ve had to challenge myself to learn new things even if they are hard for me. It is so refreshing.

Let’s not get overwhelmed, but take a step back, look at what is really important, and take advantage of this enforced home education period. You can do this, don’t believe the lie that you are unqualified or it’s just too hard. Start small; learn a new routine. Learn something new about yourself. It’s amazing what you learn about yourself when you are teaching your children.

This is a difficult time. There is no making light of this pandemic or sheltering-in-place order.Here is an opportunity you may never get again. Love on those babies of yours (even the big, grumpy teenage ones) and learn alongside them. You won’t regret it.

Challenge: Find the Joy

I will be the first to say that I struggle to find joy in the everyday tasks of life. It is so easy to get overwhelmed with making sure the house hold runs well (most days it’s a circus), that all of my children get their school work done (I homeschool 9 out of my 10 kiddos), and that we to have good family time (I know right ?!).

The last couple of years I have found myself smiling at little things throughout my crazy day. I think God has been helping me find little nuggets of joy in the midst of my chaos. I am so thankful for those little nuggets.

In the last 2 1/2 years we moved to a beautiful fixer house outside the city (the projects are never ending), discovered some major health issues, that have made us change our way of living, and had gorgeous baby girl, who was born with several medical problems. It has been such a challenging time in my life.

God has showed His faithfulness through it all. Pumping full-time and teaching my children (sometimes at the same time), running to countless doctors appointments and park dates with my kids …I would say that I’ve probably seen more of the negative than the positive. But God is so good…He just keeps giving me joy in those little things… the beauty of the river as I drive to yet another appointment, lunch with my husband when things seem overwhelming, watching my children cheer Baby Violet on as she grows and learns.

I want to see the joy all of the time. I want to crowd out the struggles and mundane things in life with the blessings of God: big and small. Life is real. We WILL struggle, bad things will happen. Our challenge is to find the joy, hold onto it, treasure it, and let God transform us.

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Philippians 4:4